I Want To Believe

The paranormal has always intrigued me. The X-Files was one of my favorite shows. There is so much about our world that can’t be explained or proved or even disproved. I’m sure we’ve all had experiences that we’ll probably never fully understand. I’ve had a few.

My cousins slumber party sparked a series of peculiar events in my teenage years. She was living in this big, old farmhouse that’s been in my father’s family for generations. I went with my stepsister, who knew the other girls there. I was there visiting my father, so I only barely knew a couple of them. We were playing Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board when our subject suddenly burst into tears and claimed to have seen the ghost of a friend that had died in a fire a few years before. To this day, I still can’t say for sure what actually happened to her, but this girl was definitely freaked out. Then, later that night, my sister and I had this great idea to scare one of our friends with a Ouija board. It was sadistically funny, but my sister and I couldn’t help but notice this odd tingly feeling that crept up our arms as we coerced the planchette to spell out her name.

It wasn’t long after the party that strange things started occurring at my father’s house just up the street. I swore I could clearly hear someone walking up and down the stairs, but I was home alone and saw nothing every time I sneaked out to check. Then, my stepmother had this old, glass coin bank shaped like Abraham Lincoln half-filled with pennies that sat on the floor near the wall. It just shattered. Maybe it was just old and had enough. I don’t know. But we still can’t figure out how a cast iron candle holder literally flew off the mantle above the wood stove straight at my father’s head. It just barely missed him. Being that so much couldn’t be explained, we simply started saying that the spirit of my father’s grandmother must’ve followed me and my sister back from my cousin’s house and she was making herself known.

A few years ago, my husband and I were up at the family camp with a few friends for the weekend. The night was warm and the sky was clear, so we went out to sit on the rocks to check out the stars. I pointed out a satellite gliding overhead and we each remarked that it looked to be changing speeds – going too fast, then going to slow. But then, it stopped. And before anyone could ask, it suddenly shot out across the sky. It took a minute for us to start interrogating each other, wanting to be sure we all saw what we just saw, even if we’re still not sure what it was.

Most recently, I had my first experience with a woman claiming to be a psychic medium. She said she’d just gone on a ghost hunt at Fort Knox in Prospect, Maine and started to tell me about some of the things she saw and felt there. But she was quickly distracted, saying that she wanted to tell me about the spirit watching over me. Don’t react, don’t give anything away, I thought, Let’s see what she’s got. She said it was my grandfather and described him to me. Everything was generically accurate until she made this very specific wave of her hand over her head. “That’s how he wore his hair,” she said, and made the motion again, “He was very particular about this wave in the front.” And he was. Every photo I’ve ever seen of him, at any age, his hair was styled exactly the same way. I know this was a style typical of his generation. I know that a lot of men his age wore their hair the same way. Maybe it was a lucky guess on her part. But it was no less creepy. And I should mention that by this time the woman was starting to cry, telling me how much he loves me and wants to watch over me. I can’t prove whether this woman was for real or just really good at figuring out what people want to hear. I just know that I wouldn’t be surprise if my grandfather was watching over me. I would actually prefer it.

If you’ve experienced something you can’t explain, I’d love to hear about it, so feel free to share if you like. I certainly can’t provide prove of any of the things that have happened to me. But I do know that I’m comforted in believing that this life I’m living isn’t all that there is. I want the loved ones that have passed on to be able to look in on me, to watch over me and my family. I want to believe that, in the vast endlessness of space beyond our planet, there are other worlds inhabited by intelligent beings. I want people to believe in whatever it is that makes them feel protected and secure enough to be able to enjoy living their lives. I want it to help them to mourn and move on, to never take anything for granted, to gain a new lease on life. And even though I’m still not completely sure what the absolute truth actually is, I still want to believe.

Leave a comment


  1. hi i believe and have been on a ghost hunt and had some very hard to explain experiences while there. I also have a couple of other photos where i have casught things on camera. I did do a post about things that go ump in the night but plan to do another soon going further into my ghosthunt experience once I have the time. I am goig on another soon but part of the condition for that one is that its location not be given away and nothing that is found can be posted online so it would be a pretty boring blog topic lol

    • I’m not sure how I’d handle a ghost hunt. I’ve never gone out looking for them. Not on purpose anyway.

  2. Erik Gustafson

     /  June 4, 2012

    Wow you have had some pretty creepy experiences! I am jealous! I have never had any and I so wish someone would contact be from beyond!

  3. hard for me to believe that the people who brought us “candyland” also brought a way to talk to the dead.


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